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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Most Parents Avoid Talking About This With Their Own Kids... I Do!

Recently, my 9-year old son has been asking questions that I don't know how to respond to. I usually have answers right away for his endless questions about life, meaning of words and phrases. This time I was tongue-tied when he asked these type of questions. My son is growing fast so I guess I must deal with it.

I asked a few experts to help me how to respond or how to talk to him about... er drum roll please... it's about...


Yes! That's what he has been curious about! Oh Dear!

For instance, the other night we were watching Apollo 13. I was confident that the film doesn't need parental guidance until one particular scene appeared on screen. Kevin Bacon got out of shower to answer his phone then his girlfriend poked her head out of the shower.
A scene from the movie Apollo 13

EJ was a little bit shocked and said,

That's rude! And, how did they fit inside the shower? I don't think they should do that!

All I said to him was,

They were saving water.

EJ went on

Maybe the woman was wearing bra and panty.

I didn't say anything further.

Most parenting experts said that parents should respond to their kids truthfully. But how does one do that? In the Philippines, talking about this topic openly is taboo!

Here are the questions that bugged me:

How Soon Should Parents Teach Children About S3x?
At what age should children be informed about s3x?
Should it be as soon as they ask what is s3x?
How should I have responded when my child asked?

Below are some responses from experts:

One basic point would be that if a very young child asks a question, the parent
Kimberley A. Johnson, author and creator (with her mother) of Ark Stories Publishing:(have a book out for v+rgins titled The V+rgin Diaries. 72 stories from men and women describing what it feels like emotionally as well as physically to have first time s3x. It was also created as a tool for parents to bring up the awkward subject. We can offer advice about what information should be given at different ages and why telling the truth is the better way to go.)
should answer the question truthfully but not giving the child more information than they asked for. Many parents feel like kids should not know about s3x. But at very young ages, they see and hear about it through movies, commercials, internet. If parents make s3x a big deal, it becomes a big deal to the child. If the parent treats s3x like math or science, the big "mystery" of it is not as much of an issue. Last, when parents leave schools and peers to be the source of information, they are doing themselves and their own child a disservice.

We should begin to tell children about s3x at the same time we begin naming objects in their
Tara Mills, a Marriage Counselor with Subspecialty in S+ex therapy. She owns a private practice in Charleston SC that specializes in relationships and s3x.
environment( "dog", 'cup", "daddy" etc.) Start telling them about s3x at the beginning of life. Of course age appropriate material is important. Research shows that when children are informed about their body parts and s3x they are less likely to be s3xually abused.

I wish I knew in 2nd grade, .. because while being molested I had no idea... about
Ginny Scales, author of
right and wrong in that area,,What bodies should do ! Young children are curious, and it is normal to play doctor/house imagine not knowing anything and a grownup wants to play......

Treat this topic as you would Santa. Don't worry about how you'll answer
Lorraine Esposito, Professional Coach, Peacemaker Coaching
Type: ACAD (Academic Institution / College / University). She is the author of Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime. Professional coach, coach training instructor and mentor coach for the world's largest coach training organization.
the question, focus on the developmental stage of the child asking the question. Never, ever, lie and always, always answer the question asked.

More responses from experts soon.

What would you tell your own child?

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